I'm eating all of the evidence.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I currently don't understand fingers.
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