as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
