You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
