how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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