yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
being pregnant is like rehab
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
