It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
