everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
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