38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
