Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
