I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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