beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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