I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize