One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
