my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
