So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
