textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
