We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
