I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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