Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
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Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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