so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
