Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
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