we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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