i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
