I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
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we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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