I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
