Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
