Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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