Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
