i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
