Responsibility does not care about your dick.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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