We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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