One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
