I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
