...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
