glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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