Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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