I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
