I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Please, let me fuck your mom
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
