I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
