'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
