...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
