On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
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He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
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It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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