She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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