Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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