i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
