Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
