As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
It's like God shit irony all over that family
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
