The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
