my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
