I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
