i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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