holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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