I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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