dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
