Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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