I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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