wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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