All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
