everyone is single if you try hard enough
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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