i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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