He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
