Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
No stitches, just platelets and will power
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I wish you could order shots online.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
