Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
We left the knife in your bed.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
